Today I decided that it was time to get back into the blogging world. I got immaturely offended a while back when people started giving me a hard time about what I was posting on my blog. To that, all I have to say is this... If you have a problem, keep it to yourself and simply do not read my blog anymore. I love to write and I have really missed it, so if I offend you just know that it was not on purpose and you you are not required to continue to read my posts. I hope that through what I have to say, people can learn from my mistakes, follow my example through triumphs, and be inspired by who I am. Things happen all the time that I want to share, so I hope this will be a way to do so. I'm starting over fresh with my new married life and the choices I am making. I am going through a lot currently and taking on new things that I have no idea how to handle sometime! It is a beautiful Journey.
Yesterday seemed like a simply terrible day. My husband and I had bad news after bad news with school and just couldn't seem to come out on top. We were discouraged, stressed, and worried altogether. As the day went on, we let every little thing possible get to us. I especially let little things bother me and I was just exhausted. My husband got a grade back for a paper we had worked together on so that he can graduate next week and it was not at all what we expected. I felt terrible thinking that I had ruined his grade for him and he was just distraught because he had worked so long and hard on it. After I got off work, I rushed to try to finish an assignment that I thought was due next week and we both rushed to the school to turn it in. By this point I was just flat out crabby and feeling very sorry for myself and for my husband. We stopped at Wal-Mart to pick up a few things to get us through the next week of finals (aka Diet Coke and flashcards lol). On our way back home, we got stuck at the same stop light we always get stuck at.
A car pulled up next to us very quickly and frantically flashed their lights at the stoplight cameras to try to get it to change faster. When it finally turned green they took off quickly and we both immediately noticed that they had their hazard lights on. Curious if they realized this or if it was completely on purpose, we decided last minute to follow them. They were driving pretty quickly so we stayed back quite a ways for fear of getting a ticket. We drove for what seemed like a long time and ended up in a part of town I had never been to. All of the houses around us seemed very large and fairly nice looking and we figured we were in a good part of town although we really couldn't tell much because it was late and very dark. When we thought we had fallen too far behind the speeding vehicle to be able to follow it, we turned the corner and saw the car with its hazards still flashing and two ambulances surrounded by several people and cop cars. My stomach dropped and I asked my husband if we could pray. He said we could pray in our hearts because he wanted to keep driving to make sure we were not in the way.
Then, he told me a story about a woman who was in a car accident and died almost immediately. She saw herself leave her body and was hovering above watching the whole scene. She explained that she saw this pillar of light shoot up to the heavens from a nearby car with a woman inside praying for her. She suddenly felt herself being pulled back to her body and she was miraculously revived. Later, she found the woman who had seemingly saved her life and thanked her for saying a prayer for a stranger she had never even met.
Looking at the seen in front of me, reality kind of me in the face and I tearfully said to my husband, "and I thought that I was having a bad day." In that moment I could hardly speak. I had no idea what was really going on, but I knew for a fact that anything I had going on was nothing compared to it. I don't know if those people lost someone or had some sort of accident or what, but I really just had a moment of... "Wow. What was I so upset about? It could definitely be a heck of a lot worse and I really have SO much to be grateful for." A dose of eternity sunk in and I just sat quietly while my poor husband drove in a bit of confusion. He probably couldn't understand why I was suddenly so somber. I felt terrible for being so selfish and so worried about such dumb and unimportant things all day when I could have been focused on making someone's life a little bit better or on strengthening my testimony or spending time with my husband. Those are the things in my life that truly matter and last forever.
I am honestly so grateful for the little things my husband does for me and for the little things every single day that the Lord blesses me with. I think I was supposed to see what I saw last night to remind me of what I really have. I couldn't be more grateful right now and I know that EVERYTHING happens for a very distinct reason. Hopefully I'll be able to remember clearly what I'm feeling now and what I have learned through this experience.
